Monday, October 26, 2015

Poetry For Thought

When I was younger I used to write poetry. Some of it was silly and rhymed and some of it was deeper and abstract. It was never something I worked at and I only wrote when something struck me or I felt especially contemplative. I haven't written anything in years until last night when I couldn't sleep. This poem is rather personal, but after a weekend spent with my boyfriend, and going to see a townhouse for the first time together, I was overflowing with thoughts. I am not usually one to share personal things or emotions but this blog is about being open and trying new things, so I thought I would post it here. This was written at 12:30am in about 5 minutes with no revisions, so definitely a raw product. Thanks for reading!

When we first met, 
I was skeptical and optimistic and scared 
because you seemed so wonderful 
and I thought it was too good to be true. 
And I felt like I kept waiting to find something wrong, 
for you to lose interest and leave, 
or stop treating me nicely. 
But you didn’t. 
And I felt skeptical and optimistic and scared. 
I was afraid,
Sometimes I am still afraid,
to feel so much for another person
and to trust them so entirely
with my secrets and fears
my silly daydreams
all of the bad parts of me
and the good.
I have to be honest
some days I still look at you
and I wonder how it is possible
to love someone so completely
And I am skeptical
and optimistic
and scared.
It is wonderful and terrifying
to go from worrying only about yourself
to planning out your life
with another person.
But despite my skepticism and optimism and fear
I never had to choose to be with you
Not really
It was like coming home
Like recognizing a face I had never seen before
Like comfort in silence
And safety in chaos
And warmth in the cold.
And you.

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